child….Handle them with care!!!

 

 

 “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” This is the inbuilt quality in the children which makes them  to learn fast. Its important to understand us that the method which we apply to talk to our children forms a huge impact on their learning ability and also on their listening skill. Its just like an echo which reflects the sound which we throw. So we should know that the way we speak to them and those around us is showing them how we want them to reflect back to us. 

In studies we have found e forms of communication which parents generally do with their kids, an aggressive way which children avoid to listen, passive way where kids find that they can run riot and can walk all over  and assertive way which makes them clear that they have to listen as this way is firm, warm and confident.

Let’s try to understand few ways which can help our kids to listen us in more effective way:

1. Call your child with his or her name: It helps to get their attention before delivering your message. It makes it clear that this instruction is for them only. 

2. Use respectful words in your language: As children are a good in imitating and deliver the same respect and praise which they receive for them. So don’t use the word like  you are bad, ashamed of your, stupid, ridiculous etc., These types of using words makes the child’s feeling worthless and they stop responding as they ignore listening . 

3. Try to form connectivity with your child: This will help you to listen to each other and form  an eye contact while talking  and make them understand with then reason why they should do and why not? It is important that first of all you address them with his or her name and talk one to one.

4. Usage of appropriate volume: Yelling is not the solution or right method for children either in the classroom or at home. Yes, for urgent situations it should not be ignored to get the attention as it is once in a while, but using this method for majority of time will not work as kids will stop listening you at all. Giving common and general instructions daily from another room may also fall on deaf ears after a while. As it gives message to them that you are too busy and not serious that is why instruction is coming from remote area.

Go closure to your child and join him or her, show a respectful behavior and then come with your instructions in a proper way and they should know that you mean it to do!!

5. Keep optional choice or alternatives for them: This will make feel your kids that they are not commanded but have choice  . So they will cooperate with you realizing that they are shown importance to get the things done.

6. Don’t give too many instructions at a time:  This will make your kid confuse to follow too many directions at  once whether it for behavior or for subject improvement. Make your every instruction simple and single. 

7. Avoid nagging : To support your kids set a schedule for their daily routine. As with this they will know their work job to follow otherwise instructing all of sudden to do when they  have not set their mind makes you nag which very easily they avoid to listen.

8. Show warm behavior but be firm : As a model first you apply to say such as thanks, please, sorry, excuse me ,pardon please, etc.,  to your kids But at the same time be firm if your have made decision about anything ,stick to it and make sure that other elders should support your decision .It may happen your kids does not like it, but make your request important and speak them firmly , casual tone will give message to kids that you are not serious whether they follow or not. Therefore firmness is necessary with request. 

9. Give them change to express their ideas: By asking open ended questions give your kids to think more and to put up their ideas ,suggestion, view on that point. Respond to their thinking, ideas and feelings by showing your interest and by appreciating it. Don’t just give them yes or no based ans.

10. Confirm that your kids should understand your language: If your kids are  not responding then confirm that whether they understood your instruction or not? ,find the reason of not responding and if your instruction is too lengthy such split it into small parts and try to rephrase it into simple words which is familiar to the kids and make it short and simple. Give them early reminder to follow their set schedule twice and thrice.

11. Keep conversing  with your kids and listen to them with full attention: Make your kids believe  that you care enough to listen to them . Converse with them to know their behavior, thoughts and ideas and to make good bonding. Open and comfortable communication with them will built confidence, self esteem, good bonding with you with others. At the same time you will find a cooperative and healthy relation with you. It’s important to know that talking with kids is essential to open and  know their thoughts. Only talking is not advisable but at the same time hearing them and appreciating them is too required. 

12. Try to praise not to interrupt:  When they are sharing something to you like story ,incident or any ideas don’t interrupt their thoughts and ideas .They will lose their interest in sharing their feelings .Any guidance or advice if your want to give, first listen them properly ,praise their expressions and then making point you can give advice or suggestion then they will respect your advice too.

Remember ,each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children..So deposit good memories with lots of fragrance .So whenever it is used it comes with good interest in usage. 

 

 

Dr. Vishal Varia

Rosary Education System

Rajkot